It’s becoming clearer and clearer to me that I don’t like the way that relationships and relationships with technology are forming. It’s been probably a month since I’ve given up Facebook. There really wasn’t any purpose for me to be on there anymore. All my favorite people and best friends don’t even use it. There were some buddies sending me updates on sporting stuff and that was about it. Which if it really matters to me I send them a text message anyways and ask for their input on stuff. I used to think that it was a place that I could save all my photos, but truthfully I don’t really take photos anymore. If I stop to think about it I can just upload it to my Instagram account. So why keep Facebook?
I think the last several people who even added me on Facebook were coworkers. Which is cool and all. I like that people want to get to know you outside of work. I’m a pretty intense guy when I’m working on something. I like to take pride in whatever I do. I don’t care if I’m just shoveling poop for a few hours. I’m going to do it better than you somehow. I’m competitive by natural. Outside of work I’m a completely different person though. I like to experience anything that I can. But the whole point of these social media websites is to be interactive right? To talk and get to understand people better when we can’t physically be there? I suddenly felt like they just added me on Facebook to look at my photos and look through my profile to get a vibe on who I was. You know… instead of talking to me or asking me questions. Are we really lacking in social skills this badly in today’s society?
When it comes to the point where someone comments to you in life about something you never told them or you’ve never had a conversation about with them that’s when I start to draw the line of creepy. My feed probably revolves around 90% sports commentary and 10% sarcastic television quotes or short clips I find relevant to my life. Most people are not perceptive enough, or know me well enough, to understand the meaning anyways. But when a coworkers makes the comment that you really love sports when I never ever talk about sports at work I find that mildly unnerving. Please get off Facebook and actually ponder things in life or make plans or goals in doing whatever you want to do. I don’t care how small it is. If it’s just plans to clean this weekend or trying to figure out what ingredients you have before trying a new recipe that is better for your brain than Facebook and creeping on people for insight. If you really want to ask a question about someone. Just ask them!
I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I really use it as a joke half the time and to stir the pot. By no means does it actually reflect who I am. Hell… by no means does it actually reflect who anyone is if we’re being truthfully honest. Facebook could easily be replaced by “Facadebook.” I should really copyright that term. We only post the best, most exciting parts of our lives to make other people jealous of our lives. Yeah guys… this is just a usual Saturday night out for me going to this live concert, then going to a club where I’m dressed up all fancy. Or yeah guys feel jealous that I’m at the beach right now or laying by the pool and you’re not. I guess you can blame all kinds of social media stuff for this and not just Facebook. It just feels like it all started with Facebook.
I find it irritating when people who can barely look you in the face when they talk to you in person, but suddenly can puff their chest out and belittle you when you don’t understand something or question something about them. I don’t know about you, but I don’t assume I know everything about you and your life. I don’t know if you’re being sarcastic or serious. But yeah go ahead and be a dick to me online so the people who do know you better can go ahead and laugh at how cool you are for being a dick. Job well done. This person it’s even more of a headache because I’ve tried so hard to boost their confidence in real life with real human interactions. Yet it seems online they’re full of themselves and I know how easily I could tear them back down to Earth. But I can’t. I’m above that. I understand that people are immature and have grown up with the internet and being able to hide behind the facade that is an internet connection and a website. I just wish it would stop!
I knew it was bad for even the people I grew up with, but it seems like it has only gotten ten times worse the younger the people are. I just happened to be stuck interacting with them on a regular basis. It’s no wonder I relate to older generations more today than I do with these young adults. Let’s make something very clear… we don’t have to be friends or buddies to have simple meaningful conversations. It should not be intimidating or intrusive for me to ask you how you are or if somethings wrong. Whenever I have started a new job or joined a new team I always try to find one topic or thing that I can always talk about with each person. Whether I even like them or not. Maybe it’s a television show we both like or our weird obsession with something. Maybe we’re both failing at chasing some girl or we’re both learning how to improve our cooking skills. It doesn’t really matter what it is. It’s just something to have a conversation about. At the end of the day I hope that maybe it got you out of your head of maybe provided you the laugh you needed. Maybe we built that bond enough that you can confide in me a more serious conversation. That’s really the whole point to me. You start small with someone you have in common and you build to more meaningful conversations. To me that is the simplest nature of building relationships. You ask questions and you listen.
Of course this just makes me feel like I’m going back in circles. It’s our lack of social skills and ability to hold a conversation with meaningful and relevant things to say that drives be bonkers. I don’t know how many people I could probably relay back to them the story of their lives by how they’ve told it to me. I know how their relationship is with their family and I know the names of their brother or sister or dog. I know how they feel about their current relationship or relationship of the past. I know what things they are planning to do for fun in the future. I usually can remember something they’ve not even told to many people. It might be something they’re insecure about or a fear. It doesn’t really matter. I ask a lot of questions to people. First off I’m just a curious person. Second off I know the more that I know about the person the more I can come to understand them. After awhile I usually will know how they’ll react to certain situations or certain stimuli’s. And maybe that’s the time I know I need to step in and help them or I know we can laugh about it later.
The point is the conversations never turns around. They never ask any questions about me and my life. They don’t know what annoys me or when I might need help. Maybe it’s as simple as they don’t care. Maybe I’m somehow just an intimidating boring sack of cells. Yet there is never any issues confiding in me about their lives. It’s almost a surprise to me now when people do ask anything personal about my life. If I’m uncomfortable I might just turn it into a sarcastic joke. If it’s in the right setting I’ll tell them the truth. I’ll be honest and vulnerable if I have to. I think a lot of the learning we do in life is through others mistakes and experiences that we may not ever experience ourselves. I’m never going to experience life as a teenage girl. But if I hear stories of what it’s like I may learn something and know how to interact better with a teenage girl whenever the situation comes along. I spent time with my grandma a lot in her last few years and she gave me a lot of insight on what it’s like to get old.
I really just wish people would develop social skills in real life. Not the fake customer service skills we’ve all learned, but the real life skills of listening to hear instead of listening to respond. I wish people had a little bit of empathy and the ability to put themselves in another person’s shoes. I wish people knew sometimes just being there is more important than saying the right thing. I wish people could just be more honest with how they feel about things that are important or relevant to them. I wish they would express the things that bother them. I by no means am a pro on expressing my feelings or opening dialogues of communications. I find I have a lot of half relationships with people because of their lack of social skills usually. I think this has stunted my growth at developing better in person skills and relationships. But I continue to try over and over again. No matter how frustrating it has become.